Yesterday, we happened upon a place that sells frozen yogurt. Not only do they sell frozen yogurt, but they have twenty or so different flavors AND a person gets to make her own so she can take as much as she wants, AND they post the number of calories per ounce so it's trackable, AND there's a topping bar so the frozen yogurt can be topped exactly perfectly right.

It's like heaven for fat people. Well, fat people who like frozen desserts. Count me in that group.

Wait, though. There's one thing I forgot to mention. They have Magic Shell. Not only do they have it, they have multiple flavors of it, including:

Yep, there's Cupcake Magic Shell. I had no idea that even invented, but let me tell you, it is delicious. Like, crazy delicious. Like, "I've been singing a song about it all morning and I'm going to start pestering the manager at my local grocery store to put it on his shelves" kind of delicious.

And you can out it on anything. Anything at all. If you have your own bottle, which I don't. You could even put it on pancakes. It wouldn't turn into a shell, but you'd get that delicious cupcakey goodness.

I guess I could just have a cupcake, but then I wouldn't get to experience the delicious waxy crispyness that the Magic Shell brings to the table. I even had mine with SPRINKLES yesterday, for crying out loud. I had cake batter fro-yo with RAINBOW SPRINKLES and Cupcake Magic Shell. There was some magic happening there, let me tell you. I could almost see the unicorns. Screw ambrosia...THIS is the food the gods eat on Mount Olympus.

I'm pretty sure the gods all have massive weight problems or else they have those ridiculous kinds of metabolisms that allow all sorts of food to be eaten without weight gain. They are lame. Or, they would be, if they were real, but fortunately for us, they aren't.

If they were, they'd probably eat all of the Cupcake Magic Shell and leave me with none. And then I would cry.