Cheryl Tiegs, you've got to be kidding me.

First of all, you're, what, almost 70? I'd say that's harder on your body than being 20 pounds overweight. Work on that. 

Secondly, you're citing Dr. Oz's 35" waist recommendation as the basis for your criticism of the size 16 model on the SI cover. Dr. Oz. A man who has been blasted for promoting all kinds of crap with no scientific data to back up his claims. What a joke.

Finally, I would bet that the "plus size" model Sports Illustrated featured is super healthy, due to the crazy amount of muscle tone and complete lack of sag and/or cellulite. Did you even look at the pictures? You know that woman hits the gym. Get a grip.

I guess what infuriates me is that I am about the same size as her (although my flabby flat butt is obviously seriously inferior...sigh) and I would put my blood test results up against Cheryl Tiegs' any day. Saying it is impossible to be overweight and healthy at the same time just keeps the whole "fat shaming is okay" mindset out there. We should all eat healthy and be active. Size is irrelevant. I am tired of being told how defective I am, after decades of dieting and exercising. I was not made to be a size six. It's never going to happen. Could I stand to tone up and lose twenty pounds? Yep. Does that make me want to hide in a big Hefty bag? Yep. Do I want my fellow women to feel that way? ABSOLUTELY NOT. 

Take care of yourself. Eat some vegetables. Get some exercise because it's healthy and your joints will thank you. But don't starve, have that glass of wine and, for goodness' sake, eat some cheese. Happy is pretty, too.

Also, though, I think Cheryl Tiegs is just mad that no one wants to see her in a bikini anymore.

It looks like a tornado hit in here. 

No, seriously. It's not too messy, so I guess it's not a tornado, but there are missing pieces of floor, parts of the walls have been removed, pictures are off the walls, and random assorted crap is on the dining table, waiting to to be moved to a safe place.

So this is what big renovation projects are like, huh?

And we have a month and a half until it's all complete. I do not know if I'm going to survive the out-of-orderliness. It's like nothing is where it's supposed to go. My OCD may make my brain explode.

Why did we do this, again?

Oh, yeah. More counter space for when I'm making cookies. Sounds really reasonable, doesn't it?

Ugh. 

Well, it's not like I enjoy springtime anyway. This way, I have something legitimate about which I can complain. 

And I do like that.

Okay, maybe I'll survive. Maybe I'll get more used to mess and chaos and all of that, and I'll be less OCD-affected and become a better person.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Nope. I'll just be slightly more crazy, and (hopefully) have more space for cookie stuff. Cookies trump feelings. It's just the way life works. So that's positive.

Okay, we can do this.

We can.

I need more cookies.

The following link is the funniest snippet of TV I've seen in a long time.

Andy Griffith, your writers win.

Seriously, just watch this.

http://youtu.be/IYv6YDRRELI

So everyone has a Twitter and Instagram account except me. 

Actually, I really have both, but I forgot and now I can't remember any of my login information, so I've just given up on it. Plus, it just seems like a lot of effort that I really just don't have the energy for right now.

So, in honor of my sad, ignored Twitter account, these are my hashtags. The hashtags that I feel describe exactly what's going on in my neighborhood, because I'm too lazy to do a Facebook status AND a tweet.

#whyismorningsoearly

#thatguysbreathsmellsliketunafishandgarbage

#cakeitswhatsfordinner

#wineitsalsowhatsfordinner

#ohmygoodnessivegainedapoundsinceyesterday

#whatisthatspotonmyshirt

#nevermindthatspotisjustsometoothpaste

#canihaveasideofcheesewithmycheese

#nappingwithmyeyesopen

#holycrapitsfreezing

And, finally, #kiddontlookatmelikethatiwilltotallytellyourmomyoucalledherfat

The end.

Yep, yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday. Which is great and all (especially since my team won), but it was a bigger day for me. Why?

I finished my mom's chemo blanket!

So, I promised her a special prize before she started chemo, and I've been working on it for three weeks, and I thought there was no way I'd be done in time.

Wrong. I finished that bad boy up about an hour before heading over to watch the game, and I'm pretty darn happy with how it came out. Also, my mom tested it out and confirms that, yes, it is warm.

I also think it might be my favorite square pattern yet. 

Here it is, just in case you're curious. Happy Monday!

Why does everybody hate orange so much?

I don't get it. I love it. I love our new orangey peach walls, and I'm really looking forward to having the entire living room be orangey peach, as well.

But no one seems to like it, except my husband and me.

Not that it matters what other people think. I mean, I've never really felt like we needed to decorate our house to please other people, since it's ours and we bought and paid for it and all, but I just don't get the orange hate.

Come on, people.

Oranges are orange, as are peaches, and they are delicious. Sunsets have some orange in them, and they're beautiful. Cheddar cheese? Orange. So, pretty much everything good is orange.

Because cheese.

At any rate, I will persevere with the orangification of my house. I like it, my husband likes it, it's all good. Also, we've picked all the new finishes to go with our peachy color, so there you go.

Seriously, though. Show the peach some love. 

And now I want peaches and cheese. I fail at mentioning food without being hungry.