Over the weekend, I had my own, "I'm a big kid now!" moment. I learned to pee in the woods.

For those of you who weren't part of my childhood, I'll let you in on a little secret: I could never pee unless I was at a toilet. I realize that sounds like it would be normal, but I had to pee a lot when I was a kid, partially because I had a tiny bladder and partially because we would all get laughing so hard that if I hadn't peed recently, I'd pee my pants.

Thus, the need to stop and pee by the side of the road. The problem was that it wasn't like a trickle. It was like those sprinklers in the ceiling of an office building that spray down everything in sight. So, when I had to pee outdoors, the basic theory was that we should just remove all clothing from the waist down and then just stand back and I'd have to bathe afterwards.

Ew.

But no more! I can now pee in the woods. My sister explained the stance to me, and I discovered that if I get really far down, much further down than I had previously tried, I pee just like a normal person. So there's really nothing wrong with me anatomically, I just wasn't doing it right.

We figured this out because our campsite had no bathrooms, only an outhouse that was so disgusting I wasn't even allowed to take a look at it. Not that I wanted to; the smells emanating from that little building were so bad, I didn't even want to check it out for myself. Apparently, there were several full fly-strips and the floor was covered with a thick carpet of dead flies. Delish.

Granted, the first evening, before my sister explained the pee stance to me, I did try to pee in the woods, and...well...it didn't go so well. However, I brought extra pants, just in case, so it was fine. My husband even had a camping shower with him, so I felt like I could keep trying. That night, I just removed my pants completely when I had to go. After that, though, my sister told me what to do, and the next morning I walked up the hill to the stumpy area in the middle of some trees and tried it and it was a success.

As I walked back down the path toward our campsite, I could hear The Eye of the Tiger playing in my head. It was a very triumphant moment.

The second morning, I walked back, still feeling very proud until I heard one of the hillbillies from the campsite across the way telling his friend that he'd just seen a lady peeing in the woods. Oh, well. At least he hadn't seen a lady peeing on her pants in the woods.