We live in a house that's almost fifty years old, so we expect some problems. You know, it's pretty drafty in winter so we're re-doing the windows as we can, there's no a/c so we have window units and fans and we try to use airflow and suction to spread the cool. Oh, and no garbage disposal (ugh).

The worst problem? Wonky plumbing.

Apparently, the old lady that used to live here had the Roto-Rooter guy scheduled to come out here every six months, and he'd ream out the pipes and she'd be good to go. For another six months.

No one told us this when we were buying the house.

We can't figure out the issue, so my husband is going to dig out our plumbing to find it. For seriously.

See, it's not just that the toilets won't flush. It's that there's absolutely no warning. It can happen at any time. You finish your bathroom break and push down the handle, only to see the water level rise and none of those kids you just dropped off going down.

It's really disgusting.

And I have one of those really old toilets in my bathroom that I'm sure is a water waster, but that bad boy can flush anything. ANYTHING. A hamster, a shoe, half of a Thanksgiving turkey...anything. It's lovely to know that no matter what a person can dish out, my toilet can take it.

Except when the stupid plumbing stops working.

So now I can't go pee, and if I do, I can't flush it. I know the whole, "If it's yellow, let it mellow" thing, but I just can't bring myself to leave a toilet full of pee just sitting there. I mean, what if someone comes over and looks in my toilet and sees it all full of pee. Ew.

The plumber will come out today. I know he will. I just know it. He has to. 

I may die if he doesn't.