Today happened to be weigh-in day at my house. I lost a pound and I was really happy about that, except for the fact that I believe I've lost this pound before, and every time I get back to it, it's harder to lose.

Why is that?

Don't tell me it's because I'm getting older, because I am not. I AM NOT. My skin is merely getting looser because I'm losing weight, not because I'm turning into a human prune.

Right?

I actually don't mind the getting older part as much as I mind the sea of skin that is accumulating just underneath my chin. Pretty soon, I'll be creating windstorms just by turning my head too quickly. I may even look like a turkey in time for Thanksgiving this year, which I think would be very festive, don't you?

Especially if I learn how to make turkey sounds to complete the look.

If I combined all of the loose skin under my chin and on my upper arms, there's probably enough to cover a whole person. I should probably donate that to some charitable organization. You know, for skin grafts and whatnot, but the person that receives the skin would probably end up with turkey neck, too. I think it's contagious.

Yikes. This is a problem. I think maybe that means it's time to stop losing weight so my skin doesn't get any looser. Maybe it's time to go on a diet to gain weight.

Sadly, that wouldn't involve any extra effort on my part. But it would be much more fun, all the same. And it would totally have to involve cinnamon rolls.