Last post of the year. Maybe.

So this year has been rough in a different way from 2016. 2016 was like a marathon of fear and anxiety, followed up with a little hope at the very end.

2017 was a decent year with lots of changes, and then a few months of constant sucker punches in the gut at the tail end, just when we’d been fooled into thinking that life was going to calm down. Oh, life. You are just hilarious.

My father-in-law is still in the hospital, making progress but still incredibly ill, my mom is struggling with the changes her cancer has brought since finding out it traveled to her lungs and she’d need long-term chemo, and my husband and I are reaching a point where we are just too tired to do anything.

Or maybe it’s just me. I don’t know.

At any rate, all I want for 2018 is to find some happy. My family, his family, and us. Happy for all of us.

Not feeling terribly optimistic about it, but at least I don’t have to work this weekend. And there will be pie for dessert tomorrow. So, yeah. Happy end of 2017, everybody.

Okay, so let’s check our list of the crap that’s gone down this year, shall we?

Kidnapping scare? Check!
Amputation? Check!
Multiple hospitalizations? Check!
Nervous breakdowns (multiple)? Check, check, aaaaaaannnnnddddd check!
Sick dogs? Check!
Moving? Check!
House buying? Check!
Snake in the bathroom? Check!
Cleaning up massive amounts of mouse poop? Check!
Weight gain? Check!
Bad contractor doing a crap job? CHECK!

...but also...

Mom and Dad still here? So grateful for this check!
Beautiful house? Check, check, check, check, check!
Cute baby pterodactyl (or cockatiel, if that feels better)? Check!
Sunsets like crazy? You know it!
New marriages and babies? Yup, that too!

....so....

Maybe 2017 was a little better than 2016. Maybe 2018 will be even better. I don’t know. But, geez, I’m tired. Time for a break.

Does anyone else over-prepare for everything? Or is it just me?

I feel like half of my life is spent preparing for things that would probably never happen. But if I don’t do that, what if it does happen? Then what?

What makes me wonder about this? I just realized that I have a pre-pedicure protocol, and I found that NO ONE ELSE DOES THIS. Does that make me crazy? I think maybe yes, but on the rare occasions my mom hired a cleaner when we were kids, we always had to clean the house for the cleaner. So maybe it’s her fault. Yeah. Going with that.

So I am gearing up for a pedicure this Friday, and I’m pretty excited, but I was too embarrassed for the lady to see the fifty inches of callous on my feet, so about three weeks ago I started prepping my feet. Once a week, I’d soak them for ten minutes, then go to town with a foot filey thing and then put on a ton of lotion and socks. So I’ve done this about four times now, and I feel like maybe they look okay enough that I won’t have to wear a bag over my head so the lady won’t know it’s me (I’ve gone to the same lady the last few times, so she kind of knows who I am).

Or maybe they’re still bad. I don’t know. Are they? Yikes...I am nuts.

Also, what if they’re really gross and she hates painting my toenails and I just haven’t noticed because they’re my own feet so they look normal to me?

What if she mocks my extremely long second toe?

What if I forget a little patch of leg hair when I’m preparing?

What if they change their lotion and she puts some on me and I have an allergic reaction?

What if I pick a color of polish that looks dumb?

See? These are the things I think about before my relaxing pedicure. Not so relaxing.

At least I’ll know I tried. That should make it okay.

Or not. Because, you know, I’m me.