Why, why, why do some people think it's okay to poison my eyeballs with their plucked-off eyebrows? I want to pop up and say, "Surprise!" every five minutes because I know they'll look surprised anyway, and at least that way it would be funny instead of being creepy.

And it IS creepy. Ever so much.

Sometimes, I am encountered by these ladies (and this may be a NM phenomenon, I'm not sure) that have plucked or shaved off all of their eyebrow hairs and drawn new ones on. They didn't draw them on in the usual place, though; they decided to give the brows a huge arch to put them way up there in the realm of the forehead. So all the time they're talking to me, it looks to me like I just said something surprising, shocking, or questionable to them.

When one asks them questions, do their drawn-ons raise up so high that they disappear into their massive bangs (yeah, these things almost always go with an impressive set of bangs)? I don't know; I'm afraid to do it. I have to ask questions in a way that avoids the eyebrow lift. Sometimes this extends the conversation to a point where I wish I had a supervisor who could take over, because in case you weren't aware, when I think something's funny, I can't hold in the giggles. Once I start, I can't stop, even in the most inappropriate situations.

This one is a doozy. 

I've tried not looking, but I'm pretty sure they had eyeball magnets surgically implanted above those things. So I pretty much have to look; it's not optional.

Can we all get together on this? Can we just all agree that there's no situation in which you should purposely draw on crazy-looking eyebrows? For example, we all know how nice and cute Betty White is, but what if she decided to get wacko with her eyebrow pencil? We'd be dealing with this:

Scary, right? And I'm not talking about people who draw on nice, sensible eyebrows. That's every person's choice, and I'm not saying I wouldn't draw on a pair if my eyebrows decided to vacate the premises. I'm talking about the senseless brow that can make even Betty White look a little like Satan.

Let's just all agree not to do this. Unless it's Halloween, and then all bets are off.