When I was a kid, my family used to go to this little New Mexican restaurant near our house for dinner a couple of times a month. At least, I think it was that often, but my sense of time when I was little was really skewed so it could've only been a few times, but I don't know. Anyway, I used to bring a stuffed animal with me, and we'd get to have either a Shirley Temple or a virgin Piña Colada. In my little brain, I decided that when I grew up, I was going to have Shirley Temples and Piña Coladas with my dinner every night.


What happened?


I had a Piña Colada-esque smoothie-type thing at work last week for Copacabana day, in honor of our upcoming Barry Manilow concert, but that's it. I haven't had either of those drinks in ages, which is lame. When I grew up, I was going to go shopping every Saturday, wear dresses every day with matching pretty shoes and have fancy underwear (like the frilly-butt ones I had when I was three, but those kind of look like diapers on adults, so never mind) and have either tacos or pizza for dinner every night with my fancy drink containing fruit slices, an umbrella and a plastic zoo animal.


Where did I go wrong?


I realized something just wasn't right when I was at the doctor's office last week, waiting for them to check my allergy shots, and I realized that I not only had Kleenex in my purse, but also two bottles of hand sanitizer and a ball of yarn and a crochet hook. That is not the fun purse I dreamed of as a child. For crying out loud, there is absolutely no candy in my purse. None.


I need to remedy this immediately, and yes, it's pretty much an emergency. Time for a trip to the grocery store for supplies: candy, piña colada mix, grenadine and Sprite, lots of maraschino cherries and plenty of drink garnishes like plastic swords and animals and paper umbrellas. The rest of my week is going to fly by.


This is going to be awesome. I think my 6-year-old formed life plan is going to work out splendidly. Having candy in my purse is going to save the world; I can just feel it in my bones.