Why is it that some people feel that they are entitled to give their opinions, unasked, about personal details in other people's lives? For instance, yesterday, a guy at my husband's work decided to let my husband know that he's fat and he should do something about it.

Really? Is that okay?

See, my issue is that now I have to hunt that guy down and kick his butt. My husband and I are both aware of our weight problems, thanks very much, and, although it's none of your beeswax and I don't have to say this, we're working on it. Oh, and telling people they are too fat while you're on your way to go outside and smoke a cigarette is somehow less effective, just you know.

Also, because we have no children, I am constantly asked if we're planning on having kids and when and why or why not. Just because we have all of the necessary equipment and don't appear to have used it doesn't mean it's anybody's business. Maybe it's rude to ask people questions about personal details if you're not close friends, so maybe don't stop me in the grocery store and say things like, "Remember me? I was your teacher in third grade! When are you having babies?"

Ugh.

So I've decided to just go on the offensive. We're having t-shirts printed up that say, "Ask me about my: Weight problem/Bad hair day/Zits/Lack of babies/Flabby upper arms/Not wearing makeup/Eczema/Etc." That way, people can feel free to just go for it, while being oblivious to the fact that we may or may not be using sarcasm.

I really think it's totally inappropriate and rude to just point out people's shortcomings or ask casual acquaintances deeply personal questions. It just is. When my husband's brothers all tell each other they're fat or when my sister and I make jokes about not being able to breathe from the exertion of walking to the fridge to get another piece of cake, it's not the same thing because we're family. That's different. Don't decide that because you see someone living a way you don't agree with that you get to weigh in on it, just because you're a fellow human being.

IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. Shut it, or you may find my foot up your butt. That is all.