Right now, I am thanking my lucky stars that I wasn't brought up in a Jewish household. Why, you may ask? Because I am learning the music to sing at the services for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, and while it is very beautiful and I enjoy the Hebrew very much (it's got a lot of fun, spitty consonants), it makes me wonder how anyone can be in church for that long (it's pretty much an all-morning type of thing) without giggling.


I'm going to giggle. I just know it.


There is a particular word that sounds like a silly way of saying a certain female body part and every time I get to it, I laugh. I'm trying really hard to get over that, because I realize that I'm not four, but it's really really really funny.


Really.


Oh my goodness. I'm going to be in trouble. These people are paying me to help make their service special, and I really love the solemnity of the texts and the whole idea of having a day of atonement and all that, but still.


This is going to be rough.


That's what she said.


Oh, crap. I need some lessons in how to make things not funny, and also in how to not think things sound kind of dirty when they aren't. It's a good thing I don't have children, because my father taught me this way of thinking, and I know that I would most definitely be passing that gift along. 


It's nice to be able to laugh at everything. I do mean everything. We laugh at sickness and death and all sorts of mayhem. I mean, what else are you going to do? It's not as though you can stop those things from happening, but at least you can laugh at them instead of feeling like poo about something over which you have no control.


Plus, as I've said multiple times, the day farts are no longer funny is the day I'm going to just give up on life.


I still think I need some kind of "off" button for this giggling thing. It would be nice to make it through an entire church service without laughing because some lady walked down the aisle with her skirt tucked up in her pantyhose or because the guy reading a text made a mistake and pronounced something in a weird and/or humorous way. Geez.


It would also come in handy next time we're planning a prank on someone, because I always ruin it with my laughing. That's why I need my sister, so I can help with the planning stages, and she can do the actual prank part.


None of this is helping with my churchly dilemma, though. Oh, well. I guess I'll just have to figure that one out later. Maybe I can just hold in my giggles until I have a bathroom break.


Or, maybe, just maybe, the people in the synagogue will have a good sense of humor and not freak out every time I smile and shake a little, holding my laughter in. Yeah, I'm holding out for that option.