I'm really not a violent person. I realize that some people, knowing me only through this blog, might mistake me for an axe murderer, but I swear I'm not.


Unless you use apostrophes incorrectly.


I've tried to get the word out. I've tried to make it easy to remember. More than one? Plural, no apostrophe. Belonging to? Apostrophe UNLESS it's the word "its," then, no, unless it's "it is."


Wow! That's super easy (I'm pretty sure you can print that up and hang it on your fridge for further study)!


Still, though, people everywhere continue to use the apostrophe inappropriately and incorrectly. Even people who are near and dear to me. Sigh.


I want to film one of those, "The More You Know" spots that used to play during Saturday morning cartoons. I want to shout it from the mountaintops. "Hey, world!" I want to say, "You're killing me with this incorrect apostrophe usage!"


After this, I'd roll down the mountain and die a very long and dramatic death, sort of like in the movie "Camille" (which I've never actually seen, but I've seen the dying part because it's in the movie version of "Annie"). I will cough lightly and then say something along the lines off, "You killed me with your its."


Then I'll be gone, and it will be all your fault.