Airports are a great place to people-watch. I would probably go there on weekends and just sit and make fun of everyone all day long if they'd let me, but that would probably be some kind of violation of some kind of law, and I'd end up get strip-searched by the TSA. 


Which is fine, except I'd need to know when it would happen so I could wear suitable undergarments and bring lots of Kleenex for the inevitable crying.


However, I had a plane ticket this time, so they couldn't kick me out. I will now share my adventures with you. They're not that adventurey, but pretend like you're amazed. It'll boost my self-esteem.


The weekend had an awkward start when, after going through the x-ray, it was decided that my purse contained a small metal object that looked dangerous. The agent was going to use his utility knife to cut my purse open, but finally agreed to listen to me as I pointed out that the zipper did, in fact, open, and that was where the object was located. I had left my cool little Leatherman tool (which, by the way has scissors, tweezers and pliers...no knife) in my purse's "secret" pocket. Along with an assortment of lady products, all of which I'm sure he thoroughly enjoyed handling. Maybe he learned a valuable lesson, too: Zippers sometimes open pockets. No utility knife needed.


I had to walk all the way out and go back to the car, because I wasn't going to check my bag just to put that tool in there, but I didn't want to throw it out, either. It's awesome.


Wait. Now that I think of it, the awkward start really happened on the way to the elevator after parking the car. Yep, because that's when we realized that my mom's bag, in spite of being cute and ever-so-stylish, did, in fact, weigh 500 pounds, which meant that there was no way she could carry it. Even for five minutes. So guess who got to carry all of the carry-on bags?


Yep. Good thing I'm built like an ox.


Anyhow, we finally got on our plane (after an hour-long delay) and made it to our destination.


The weekend was actually great...I always worry a little bit because sometimes for no good reason at all I get really freaked out and weird about germs, but I didn't. Also, we stayed with some really fun people who had an ample supply of alcohol and cake, so that was also good (there was actually cake-flavored alcohol, so they pretty much had all of their bases covered). I went to a baby shower and wasn't forced to play any games that involved diapers, and that was also wonderful. I learned a lot of travel tips, got to hug my Grandma multiple times, learned some new slang for use in the ghetto, and got to bring home a fancy cigar for my husband, so I'd say the weekend was definitely a success. My family is pretty gosh darn awesome.


However, when we got back to the car after flying home (the airport was not even remotely interesting or hilarious on the way back), we realized that we'd lost our parking ticket, so we had to pay an extra day's parking, and then my Mom realized that she'd left her iPad on the plane, so she has to drive back to the airport and pick it up (they found it, thank goodness).


So, yes, adventures with travel. I highly recommend picking up a bottle of the cake-flavored vodka for use before, during, and after all trips. It seems like that's the key to vacation success.