Yesterday I was thinking about how much it stinks when you want something particular to eat but you don't have it and can't get it. This is usually an issue for me because most of the time I'm on a diet and can't ever have what I really want, so I'm pretty much wandering around on the planet perpetually bacon cheeseburger deprived.

Then, a wise person I know posed the question: What if you want something, but you don't know what it is? What if you then spend the entire day looking for the perfect thing to put your stomach in a happy place, and everything you eat is wrong, so you just keep going and never find what it is you truly want?

Yeah, like every other day in my house.

It's a vicious cycle: Get up, eat cereal (which isn't what I really want), do some work, have an apple (which doesn't quite do it), have something for lunch (which is never exactly what I wanted), then end up in the kitchen (or at my desk at work) around 3 pm, knowing that what I really need is chocolate- and/or potato chip-based and we don't have it, but I still spend about 15 minutes staring at my pantry, hoping the right choice will magically appear. 

You can also pretty much change the order and times around and that will be accurate for almost any time of day.

I generally know exactly what I want, but when it's just a mysterious "something," then it's a problem. Because I can consume an entire week's calories in a matter of about five minutes, and still not feel like I'm done. In a perfect world, I'd realize exactly what I was hungry for, go get it, and be done. Not how it usually works, though.

That question really made me think about how being on a diet all of the time has altered my perception of what I want. It truly depends on if it's a day where I feel like I have willpower or not. For instance, if I'm feeling like I've been really good lately, I'm much more likely to be happy with that apple, even though it doesn't really do it for me. If, however, I am feeling as though I've never done anything right and I'll always be roughly the size of a baby elephant, I will go searching and never find the perfect item, but in the process I will consume mass quantities of everything in sight, until all that's left is a stalk of celery and a can of olives.

Wait! I think I just had an epiphany.

The answer is not in what foods I eat, or in finding what it is I'm searching for. The answer is stretchier pants.

Sometimes I'm so smart, I can't even stand myself. You're welcome.