Maybe I just have a bad attitude, but whenever someone assures me that I'm going to like something, I usually end up hating it. I don't think I'm trying to be contrary, but it's very unusual for me to really like something someone has recommended to me. For instance, people tell me things like, "Oh, you should definitely read this book. You'll love it." So I go to the library and read the dust jacket, and I'm thinking, "Wow. A book about kissing and smooching and kittens that's very heartfelt in which everyone talks about feelings and learns a valuable lesson at the end."


In case you haven't been paying attention, that's not really my style. Especially the valuable lesson part.


I've pretty much decided that life is a series of valuable lessons that are constantly being learned, except that the kind of lessons we learn are way more irritating and boring that what you read about or see on TV, and you don't ever realize what you learned until much later. At that point, maybe, you're a little grateful for the experience, but for the most part, it kind of sucks.


Don't want to read about that, thank you.


I also avoid any movie that could be labeled a "chick flick." Why? Well, they're generally extremely sexist, and based upon the assumption that women are adorable muddle-headed little creatures that just need the power of the right man to set them straight. Tee hee. Yeah, not so much. Plus, I tend to think that most of the time, the guy they throw in who takes his shirt off and is supposed to be hot isn't that hot. Throw some Professor Snape in there, and maybe we'll talk. Maybe.


I guess I just don't do well with mass-hysteria. 


I will also take this time to admit that I think Channing Tatum, James Franco, Tom Cruise, James Van Der Beek, Justin Timberlake and pretty much all of those people everyone likes are really, really unattractive. They kind of make me gag.


Oh, and if Hollywood remakes one more awesome movie (Death at a Funeral), thus ruining it for a new set of moviegoers, I may have to find out whose fault it is, drive to their house and TP it. Because that is lame.


I think the overall theme of today's presentation is that I am highly critical of everyone and everything, my opinions automatically become fact, and, finally, that Professor Snape is mantastic. Got that?