I'm back!


I was in a hotel with spotty internet connection, so I was unable to blog for you. I know, it must've been very difficult for you to make it through the past four days, but somehow you've survived.


Today I would like to discuss some behaviors that should be kept private. Certain people must have decided that with the more relaxed manners in today's society, there are more actions that have also become acceptable in public. I'm here to tell you: No.


Right off the bat, we need to address the nose-picking. It is never okay to dig in there in public. I understand that sometimes one has to do a scratch when there's a nose itch, but putting a finger up your nose is never okay. I mean, never. Get a flipping Kleenex, or go into the bathroom and just go all out. Your nose is full of staphylococci, including MRSA, and when you touch that junk, you're getting it on your hands and then unknowingly touching other surfaces and potentially killing half of the population of whatever town you're in. Murderer.


Another area that should never be picked in public is the butt area. I feel like I shouldn't need to say this to a group of adults, but this week I saw ever so many people digging up in there, right in front of everybody. I'm not referring to wedgie-adjusting, as that is a necessary evil and you rarely pull it out from the middle, anyway. As for scratching, though, we all know what you keep in there and maybe you need to go to the toilet and do a little extra paperwork or something. That's just nasty.


Which leads me to (and this time I'm going to address men specifically, because I rarely see women doing this) crotch-adjusting. Please don't keep touching your junk. It's gross. No potential date sees you doing that and thinks, "Wow. He's sexy. I want to get with that." (Please read as much sarcasm into that thought as you can, as it makes it much funnier.) Keep your hands off your area. If you must adjust, go to a private place and do it there and then wash your hands. Really. Yeesh.


I saw so much inappropriate picking, scratching and touching this week, I thought my brain would explode. 


AS you can see, I survived.