I'm super late this morning, due to getting home from rehearsal last night after midnight and then not setting an alarm. The one night I sleep all night, and there's no way to get us up.


So we are both two hours late for work. Awesome.


I wasn't going to make this story a part of my blog, because, well, it's kind of gross, but I realized that there are some people out there that enjoy this sort of thing. I know I do.


I'm not a laugh-out-loud sort of person. I tend to smile a lot and laugh on the inside unless it falls into a certain category of funniness. One of those categories is definitely farting. So my husband saves up farting stories and tells them to me to make me laugh when he thinks it's necessary. This one was about as necessary as it gets:


One day at work, my husband was in the bathroom, in a stall because all the stand-ups were being used. Then, he hears a guy break wind. Now, from what I hear, this is a pretty normal occurrence in the men's room. Not so much in the ladies' room, unless it's accompanied by a little cough, in order to try to cover. Anyway, so the first guy cuts it, then another guy says, "Whoa. I can do way better than that."


Yep, my husband witnessed an honest-to-goodness, real-life farting contest. How lucky is that? I can't really write it out, because in the telling you have to make the noises, and I don't know how to effectively spell the different ways each fart sounded (according to my husband). Let's just say I nearly died from laughing. Holy cow. Farts will get me every time. And he stood there in the bathroom, laughing, all alone, until they were done. I might've been on the floor, except for the whole germ thing.


Ah, stuff is fun. 


I have one other small tidbit I'd like to share, since today is obviously bathroom day: Lock the door if you're going, okay? If you don't, it's your own fault, and just because you're using a single-toilet facility to get some reading done, and you were so intent on getting down to business that you forgot to lock the door, it doesn't mean that you should glare at me and say, "I'M IN HERE!!!!" in your crazy Exorcist-type voice and slam the door shut in my face. Yep, last night I went to use the bathroom, opened the door, and this lady was sitting on the toilet, pants around her ankles, reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Good times.


I hope you've all learned something today. I know I have, I'm sure, at some point in all of this.