There's this person I know who's not exactly a friend, really more of an acquaintance, who has this issue that I am constantly wrestling with: She's always got stuff hanging out of her nose. Always. I mean, every time I see her, at some point in our time together, there is an attempt at escape by one of her nasal prisoners.

What to do?

I don't feel like I know her well enough to say, "Hey. Look. Here's some Kleenex. Why don't you give it a whirl?" but on the other hand, I wouldn't want to walk around flashing my nose gold and not have anyone let me know.

She's got to know, though. These aren't those tiny things where it could possibly be just a little flake of skin or maybe a speck of dirt. No, these are ginormous, and definitely the kind where I'm always tempted to ask if she's got a sinus infection or something, but I've known her for long enough that if it's a sickness, it's got to be a perpetual sickness. Not only that, but they're so huge, there's no way she's not feeling that action.

So I just don't ever look her in the eye. The boogers are like tractor beams, and once I see them, I can't look away. I've tried looking at her, then looking at the box of Kleenex, then looking back and her, and so on, but she never takes the hint. I've tried saying things like, "Whoo! My nose gets so stuffy when the juniper's acting up. How about you?" but still, no dice. I've even tried putting the Kleenex by where she's sitting and saying, "Here you go, in case you might need one." Even then, she doesn't do anything.

Then we reach the point where she's talking to me about two feet away from my face, and her hanger-on is moving in and out with her breathing, and it makes me so panicky that I can't think of anything except escaping without getting snotted. 

Does no one else notice this? I can't be the only one; as previously stated, these are large and in charge. Does this woman have no friends that are comfortable enough with her to tell her about her issue? I mean, I only really see her around, I've never actually socialized with her, so I don't feel okay going any further.

Life is so tricky sometimes. Tricky and gross.