I think you should know something. This may be hard for you to accept, but it's important that you hear this: Cute is not a valuable commodity.

Whew! I'm glad I got that off my chest. That one's been in there a long time.

Maybe it's just me, being grumpy and un-cute myself, but somehow when another adult woman looks at me and shakes her head and says, "Hee hee....when I think about things like that, I get so confuuuuuuuuuuused!" it makes me throw up in my mouth. It isn't endearing, and it doesn't make me want to rescue you from potential brain-spraining. It makes me want to take your pretty pink purse (don't get me wrong...I love purses, but when you're in your 50s, a plastic Barbie purse seems a wee bit inappropriate for everyday use) and hit you over the head with it. This isn't out of jealousy: I'm totally okay with not being cute (well, my husband thinks I'm cute, but I'm pretty sure that's because I make the best waffles in all of creation). I'm smart, and to me, that's much more valuable.

Some people, however, seem to think they're more attractive when they act helpless and stupid. I can't think of a worse idea. That may pique someone's interest in the beginning, but no one wants to help you tie your shoes for the next 50 years. I don't think anyone needs you to be a brain surgeon, but it's nice if you have some sort of skill set, or that you're at least reasonably self-sufficient and don't start every sentence with an obnoxiously high-pitched little giggle.

Again, maybe that's just me, too. I don't think so, though. I'd bet none of my favorite women have "cuteness" at the top of their list of favorite qualities about themselves. My sister, who is pretty much the coolest person in existence, for example. I'm sure she has her ditzy moments, like everyone else, but I've never seen her put on the "helpless female" act to make herself more attractive. Thank God, because if she did she'd be the only person on the planet I'd feel free to smack upside the head.

Please, please, please don't depend on your cute helplessness for your future happiness in life. Not only are most women not going to be taken in by that for too long, but most men will also get sick of it after a while. If they don't they're probably not worth being around permanently. So when you're no longer cute (it's inevitable) you'll be stuck, old and alone, with no friends and no partner. Be good at something, or interested in something. Learn new things and don't be afraid to try stuff that looks too difficult. You'll probably fail and be embarrassed a lot of the time, but you won't be an idiot and I won't write a whole blog page that describes in detail how irritated I am when I have to be around you.

Or maybe I just need a nap. It's hard to say.