I have a special gift.

There, I said it. I know that I'm ridiculously gifted, sort of in the way that Derek Zoolander is ridiculously good-looking, but this is a special gift to which I am referring, not just an ordinary one.

I make HamsterCats pee. On any surface.

My Mother has a dog. The dog has another name, but the moment I met her, her little doggie spirit whispered to me, "My name isn't Ellie.....my name is HamsterCat." Well, that and the fact that she looks like what would happen if a hamster and a cat had a baby.

Whenever I go to my parents' house, I say, "Haaaaammmmstteeeeeeerrrrrrrr!!!!!!!" really loudly. This lets her know that I'm there. It also serves as a reminder to me to look and see if anyone is sitting in my parents' living room, because when I do this and someone I don't know is there, they look at me funny and think that I'm crazy.

Then, HamsterCat comes running out and immediately pees, no matter where she is. I tried last night to just have her pee on the tile floor, but to no avail. She doesn't do it with anyone else. Just with me. Maybe she got confused with potty training and thinks I'm a newspaper. I don't know.

It's a pretty magical gift. Last night, she peed on my mom's chair and the tile floor in the hallway and in the living room. I didn't even pet her or talk crazy like I usually do; I was just in the house. That's how I know it's magic.

I think my dad appreciates my gift, too. He seemed pretty excited about mopping up all that pee. Dad, you're welcome.

Happy Friday.