Walmart is not my favorite store to go to. I'm sure lots of people feel that way, but I do have to admit that around the holidays, the super mega crazy people come out, which makes a trip to Walmart a lot more fun.

Unless I have to go to the bathroom, in which case, well, I'll just hold it, because it's like the Night of the Living Dead in there. Like that, but with a small child staring at me from under the stall next door while his mom laughs at how cute he is, and doesn't tell him to: a) get off the filthy fricking bathroom floor, and b) stop staring at the lady while she pees (true story).

It's almost worth it, though, as you get to see magnificent outfits that are sometimes even holiday-themed.

Or, you may be treated to drunken PDAs in the frozen foods aisle, which, to me, is what Christmas is all about. Love and Salisbury Steak, man. Keeping it real.

I do not, however, enjoy it if we have to walk by the toy area, which we usually do because the car stuff is always by the toys (good plan). I am a little leery of large groups of kids, and that whole scene is like daycare for people who can't do daycare. I think maybe there's an unspoken law that you can just drop your kids off there, and they can just have at it. I've seen kids sitting on the floor (again, with the kids on the floor....what's wrong with people???), playing with a toy they've removed from its box, and no parents in sight.

I actually think that might be kind of awesome for those kids. I probably would've enjoyed it, myself.

I'll try to think of that next time I'm walking past a ginormous group of kids and I have a Children of the Corn moment. I'll think, "It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. Just look like you don't care and don't even notice them..."

That may work. If all else fails, it's Walmart. I'll just run to the vegetable section. Nothing bad ever happens there.