I'm pretty sure this month is just going to be all about the canning, whether I like it or not. Not that I don't love canning...it's great. It's just that I'm trying a new batch of recipes and some of them don't come out perfectly. Or else, they come out right and it's just not what I thought it'd be.

Pear butter, for instance. Mine never got all smushed together and completely smooth, but it was still awesome. Not worth the work, but still awesome. I can't decide if I want to just scrap the butter and go for jam. I found a recipe for caramel apple jam today, so we'll see. I may just do that and repeat it 500 times.

I have so many apples in my garage right now, plus a whole tree of my own to get started on, that I'm starting to panic. Yikes.

What the heck am I doing sitting here typing about it?

Maybe I should type about people who come to rehearsals with intestinal viruses (DON'T), or people who try to dress like they're in their 20s when in reality they're pushing 50 (DON'T), or even people who decide it's okay to have breath that smells like tuna fish and kitty litter mixed together, and then decide that it's okay to blow said breath in my face (QUADRUPLE DON'T).

But I won't. That would be petty and unkind. Which, of course, are two attributes that I could never, ever possess.

Ha ha ha. Lies.