The best thing about paying attention to things all of the time is that you notice the behavior that other people think goes unnoticed. So I get to see a lot of people pulling out wedgies, picking noses, and scratching themselves in undignified areas.

I'm pretty sure that's why I'm laughing all of the time. People do some messed up stuff.

The last time I went to the grocery store, I saw a lady in the cereal aisle who thought she was alone, scratching down in the back of her pants. Not adjusting. Scratching. She was going all out, which was hilarious, and then she turned and saw me standing there, which was even funnier, so I had to leave that aisle and walk elsewhere because I didn't want her to see me laughing at her. Goodness knows I've done my share of scratching, but I'd never scratch my butt in a public place without a way to wash my hands immediately after, unless I had some sort of worm problem, which, fingers crossed, I've not had to contend with anytime recently.

The last time I went with my dad and sister to Santa Fe, though I did see something that made me want the person to see the mockery. This kid was riding a bicycle on a main street and talking on his cell phone, which is idiotic in the first place. He's stopped at a light and is messing around, trying to be cool, and he falls. Magnificently. It was AMAZING. I made sure to keep my face aimed in his direction so he could see me laughing at his douchebaggery. I'm sure that was comforting to him in his moment of extreme uncoolness. That totally made my day.

Ah, other people are so funny. Not me, though. Never me. I never do anything that's even remotely stupid. Ever. I swear.