Why is it that every time I go clothes shopping and I venture into the fitting room (I admit it, sometimes I am guilty of buying something without having first tried it on in the store) I witness a situation that presents me with a moral dilemma?

Case in point: Monday evening. We went to Dillard's to return my husband's flip-flops that the salesman had convinced him would stretch out and fit him better. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen, but you know how sometimes you want it to happen so much, you let yourself believe? So that's what spouses are for: To help you see that salespeople are full of crap.

Anyhoo, I went to the women's section to look at the clearance. I love the clearance. I think I could probably spend an entire day looking at it, maybe purchasing nothing, but at least digging through to make sure I don't miss anything. I feel really accomplished when I leave Dillard's with a $50 shirt that I only paid $5 for, even though I know that they probably still made a small profit on it. Ah, well. Someday, clothes will be free.

I got some stuff and went into the dressing room to try it on. As I'm doing so, I'm also listening in on a conversation that is happening between a customer and a saleslady by the three-way mirror of doom (yes, you can enjoy the fatness of your butt, in bright lights and in front of everyone else). The lady is saying, "I don't know...it's really a new style for me, but it's on sale. I don't want to spend too much, because I'm not going to be this size for much longer...I just started a diet."

As I shook with laughter, because we all know that's a load of crap, I hear the saleslady respond, "Oh, but that color and shape are so good on you. You should definitely pick up a couple." I step outside my door to go get some different stuff to try on, and I witness a terrible sight.

The lady, who is probably about 50 pounds heavier than me and probably 6 inches shorter, is wearing a tube top and a pair of short shorts. Both are about two sizes too small. Why do they even make those things in larger sizes? I wouldn't wear short shorts. Ever. Under any circumstances. I would rather go pantsless. Yikes.

So I feel like maybe it's my duty to tell the lady that, no, those do not look good, and also that I saw some nice loose sweatery things on sale in the back. However, I feel that it's none of my business, so I keep my trap shut.

Fast forward to checkout. I'm approaching the counter when tube top lady gets there and lays down (gasp) short shorts in every color and a bunch of tube tops. All in a size smaller than the one I'm getting, so I know they're going to be nice and snug. Then she says, "It's so awesome to find things that are such a perfect fit, on sale! I mean, usually, my size is all sold out by the time I get here!" Oh, no. What do I say? I could let her know...she IS a fellow chubby lady, and I DO like to help out my fellow man and all...

Of course, I don't say anything helpful at all. I simply smile and say, "That purple looks really nice on you, too."

I am not a good person.