I've decided that the most efficient way to analyze a person's personality is to ask them questions about which TV character they would be from various shows, especially shows that were on Nick at Nite when I was a kids, because I feel that I have the closest relationship with those particular characters and can be more accurate in my analyses.

For example, if a person was to tell me that he would be: Alfred from Batman, Cleveland from Family Guy, and the Professor from Gilligan's Island, I would say that he was probably too concerned with taking care of everyone else and that he needs to go out and do something selfish, for once. This would probably never happen, though, because those would be kind of weird answers.

If someone else told me that she was Velma from Scooby Doo, Alice from The Brady Bunch, and Amy from Bosom Buddies, I would primarily be concerned with the fact that she was my evil twin, because those are my characters. I don't know that those say a lot about me, except that I would solve all of those mysteries way faster than Freddie, I can make a mean chocolate cake, and I tend to be the fattest girl in my office.

Dang. I should've been a psychologist. This new system works all the time, every time.

Unlike Freddie, who is a worthless mystery solver and should just keep his mouth shut and look pretty. That's his real job, after all.