Your Personal Guide to Internet Safety

Yes, folks, I've decided that it's time to share my vast knowledge of internet safety with you. What inspired this post? Well, I came into work this morning and none of the computers were working, and a bizarre flashing page with expletives on it was up on the main machine, so I know someone clicked on something they shouldn't have. This isn't what cause the malfunction, as it was on a different server, but it could've caused a problem.

Am I annoyed? A wee bit. So here we go!

1. Never click on anything that even resembles an ad. NEVER. If it's on the border of your page, it's probably junk of some sort. Just don't click on it. If you want to look at a particular product, go to amazon.com and look for it. They have everything.

2. Never download anything onto a work computer. Just don't. You don't want that screen saver/game/funny picture, I promise. At least, you don't want it badly enough to download some kind of virus along with your diversion that takes down your boss's whole system and requires a visit from a computer guy. Then you'll have to explain what you were doing looking at pictures of Angelina Jolie's new lips and why you were playing Tetris when your time card clearly shows that you were supposed to be working. Yikes.

3. Don't use my computer for any reason, unless I have approved of you and your germs. I don't want them. I realize this has nothing to with keeping your computer safe; this is more of a personal safety issue. YOUR personal safety.

4. Be aware that anyone can make a realistic looking logo. It's very easy. Just because an ad or a webpage looks like it's legit doesn't mean you should click on it and/or purchase something from it. Your bank account will, mostly likely be cleaned out. It happens all of the time, and I promise that I will laugh at you behind your back if this happens to you. I realize it's not funny; I feel that mockery is the most effective way for me to teach other people life-lessons.

5. Finally, since you are on a work computer, realize that most of us have, at one time or another, been on a site that required us to enter a password. When you compromise our server, you are compromising all of the sensitive information on the system, including info belonging to other people. If you don't feel comfortable differentiating between legitimate links and potential virus-containing links, you should just not click on them. Or don't use the internet. Your call.

Do you get it now? The overall theme of this page is, "Don't Click on That Link!" You are putting everyone else's info at risk, not to mention potentially sensitive information from your job. Plus, if any of my accounts get hacked into because of your slip-up, I will totally take you out to the parking lot and we'll have to throw down.

Those are the rules, and yes, someone did die and make me boss. Deal.