There are some people who can eat whatever they want and not gain weight. I do not happen to be one of those people, but it doesn't make me hate them. I mean, why would I want to strangle a person for being able to partake in a malt every afternoon while I'm eating my lovely snack that consists of water and air. Equally good, right?

Sure!

Plus, think of all that money I save, eating yogurt every day for lunch (even though I truly hate yogurt), along with an apple. I don't hate apples, but I would much rather have a bag of chips. 

Plus, who wants to be able to go on vacation and not write down everything she eats? That's no fun. It's much nicer for a person to try to find the only healthy thing on the menu every time she goes to a restaurant and then only eat half of it and have to throw the rest away because her husband is not co-operating and helping to eat that particular dish because it basically consists of boiled broccoli and a 2 oz. shrivelly piece of chicken in some ridiculously vinegary sauce. Crazy husband. He wants to go on vacation and eat stuff that tastes good.

Who wants to do that?

I'm not bitter. Not at all, even considering that I split a bottle of pink champagne on my birthday so I now get to eat, well, nothing, at least until I lose the birthday weight that I accumulated over two days. Two days. Not a week, but two days, and I still gained a few pounds. Yeah, that's awesome.

Besides, I just love going out and walking for an hour every night in the 90+ degree weather we're having right now. I think my sweat makes a statement. It's super fun to keep going when you feel as though half of your body has melted off, but it's the half that doesn't actually weigh anything.

So, no, I don't hate naturally thin people at all. Not at all.

I'm just saying they should probably avoid me like the plague. Not that I'll be mean or anything, but deep inside I'll be smacking the crap out of them as they enjoy their guilt-free Quarter Pounders.