We went for a walk last night, in the hot hotness of the heat. It was quite warm and quite awful, but we did it. In celebration, I think that everyone should buy me a doughnut today. A raised doughnut (not a cake one) with pink frosting (not a particular fruit flavor, mind you, because doughnuts shouldn't have real fruit flavors; instead, they should be fried and covered with a sugar-filled glaze or an artificially flavored and colored frosting), and maybe some sprinkles or coconut. I prefer the oblong sprinkles to the round ones, and either kind to coconut, but I'm not particular. I'll take any kind. This one would be perfect:

Maybe that says a little something about me; namely, that I always reward my good food/exercise behaviors with food and/or lack of exercise. 

P.S. If you're skinny and you always refer to yourself as a "fat kid" because you like to eat a lot, and you're asking yourself if that is offensive to those of us who were actually fat kids, the answer is: YES. Yes, it does. You don't get to be in our club unless you've walked the walk, and from the looks of your size 2 jeans, that's never happened. So shut it. Not all of us get to eat entire bags of Taco Doritos in one sitting (we just dream about it).

No, wait.

You owe me a pink doughnut for trying to appropriate my condition. Maybe a regular Dr. Pepper, too. I haven't decided. Let's just start with the doughnut and see how it goes, shall we?