Yesterday, something monumentous (that's a combination of momentous and monumental; it's called a portmanteau...look it up) happened: I had to talk to a guy on the phone!


Okay, that doesn't sound that exciting, but if I mention that he had me on speakerphone and he was using the bathroom (I'm not talking about tinkling, either), does that sound little more shocking?


Yeeeaaaaahhhhh.


This guy calls me to change an appointment time, and I keep offering him openings. All the while I'm hearing toilets flush and water running, so I'm guessing he's calling from a bathroom. It's only when he starts talking funny and pausing a little that I guess what's actually going on is that he's using the bathroom while talking to me. I think that maybe he was trying to multi-task, but no one ever told him that speakerphone is not a good idea when you're, you know, taking care of business.


I think the kicker was when he actually...um...went, and he made a little, "Ah!" sort of sound. Why did I need to hear this? Why did I need to hear any of this? It was a pretty long call, I'd say about five minutes, so I think I must've been there for the majority of his bathroom visit. Is his time so important that he can't just wait to call me until he's finished? Or could he maybe have not put me on speakerphone? I mean, maybe he was grabbing onto something and pushing for dear life, but I didn't need to hear it. Plus, he should have some kind of headset for when he's driving and needs to use his cell phone (he probably doesn't want to be unsafe and talk while driving, though).


Talk about unsafe.


I was in shock for about 15 minutes after I got off of the phone. I was also proud that I didn't, even once, say anything along the lines of, "Who does Number Two work for?" or, "Hey, partner, have a good one!" (from the toilet scene from Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery). I'm guessing that this means I'm an adult.


Come to think of it, though, I am devoting an entire page of my blog to the event, so maybe I'm not as grown up as that. Oh, well. I leave you with the aforementioned bathroom scene. If you don't find bodily function humor funny, you won't enjoy it at all; however, I'm guessing that if that's the case, you won't have made it through this whole post, anyway. So there.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC8dL8_80YM