Okay, the day has finally come. I've been putting it off for...well...technically, it's been like 25 years or so, but I'm finally doing it.

I'm going to the orthodontist.

Yes, to talk about joining that sweet club called "Adults with Braces".

Maybe.

I don't know if I can handle it. I mean, I'm pretty easily irritated by things that feel weird, and having a bunch of crap in my mouth might just be too much for me. I don't know. I had a spacer for a while when I was a kid, and that was pretty terrible, but then again, when I was a kid I was a slob and I didn't ever remember to turn the key thing on the roof of my mouth, so I would only turn it right before my visit a bunch of times, which hurt like crazy.

I don't think I would do that now. I'm way too anal retentive.

At any rate, it's just a consultation, but I'm super nervous about it. I have all of these questions in my brain, but I worry I'll forget everything, blurt out something stupid, and arrive home with a mouth full of metal rather than the Invisalign ones which I'm really going to push for.

Ugh. Adults with braces are the worst.

No offense. But for reals, I am already dorky enough,thankyouverymuch. I don't need help from brackets and a big old chunk of my lunch. Can you just imagine me with a gargantuan piece of protein bar hanging out of the front of my mouth as I smile geektastically? 

I can. And it's terrible. I may die.

Maybe jaw pain isn't so bad, after all. Maybe it'll just go away one day and I won't need braces.

This may be a loooooong appointment.