I'm looking online this morning for pants that I can wear to work because the pants situation in my neck of the woods is starting to look a bit precarious. I really only have three kinds of pants, just ever: Big linen pants, which I love and are comfortable, but they are really, really big and also wrinkly, so maybe not as good for work as some other choice; Polyester work pants, which are polyester and therefore they itch and bug me all day, but they're good for work and even some singing gigs that don't require a dress; and finally, Jeans and Cords, which are great but kind of casual and also kind of hot when I'm walking to work in warmer weather.

Anyway, that is neither here nor there.

I am looking at these websites, and I have discovered why so many people have such a hard time understanding what is office-appropriate and what is not. Heck, I have trouble with it myself sometimes. Manufacturers are labelling some things as "Office Wear" when they are, quite clearly, not.

Yep, sometimes websites have false or faulty information.

Case in point:  Short shorts. I saw a pair of very, very short white shorts that were labelled office wear and paired with a blazer. If you want to wear your shorts with a blazer, go for it, but there is no way shorts are appropriate in an office. Just, no. Never. For some reason, it's a little distracting, not to mention the fact that once the a/c is on all of the time anyone wearing shorts (especially those short enough the show the bottoms of your packets) is going to die from hypothermia. Just don't do it.

No colored skinny jeans, either. I saw several pairs that said they were great for the office. No. No, they're not. They don't make a person look professional and trustworthy, they make a person look like he or she is fifteen. Or at least way too old for skinny jeans. Either way, it's a lose-lose situation.

White pants are another bizarre choice. I don't know about anyone else's office, but if there's a day where I don't end up on the floor for some reason or another, it's unusual. You want to keep those things clean all day? Be my guest. But, seriously, it's not going to happen. You'll get ink or coffee on them in the first five minutes and then spend the rest of the day holding a folder over the evidence of your clumsiness. Don't try it.

I think there's a pretty wide range of what's appropriate in an office, but try to think about it this way: If it was cool in high school or college (depending on how long ago those things were), it's probably not a good idea for you to wear it in your office. Unless you work for some kind of company that encourages such things. In that case, by all means go ahead and try it, but I would be careful with those short shorts. Standards come and go, but office air conditioning can be deadly. Oh, and don't forget to shave all of the way up your legs, because we can all see that patch where you got sloppy.