Okay, the day has finally come. I've been putting it off for...well...technically, it's been like 25 years or so, but I'm finally doing it.

I'm going to the orthodontist.

Yes, to talk about joining that sweet club called "Adults with Braces".

Maybe.

I don't know if I can handle it. I mean, I'm pretty easily irritated by things that feel weird, and having a bunch of crap in my mouth might just be too much for me. I don't know. I had a spacer for a while when I was a kid, and that was pretty terrible, but then again, when I was a kid I was a slob and I didn't ever remember to turn the key thing on the roof of my mouth, so I would only turn it right before my visit a bunch of times, which hurt like crazy.

I don't think I would do that now. I'm way too anal retentive.

At any rate, it's just a consultation, but I'm super nervous about it. I have all of these questions in my brain, but I worry I'll forget everything, blurt out something stupid, and arrive home with a mouth full of metal rather than the Invisalign ones which I'm really going to push for.

Ugh. Adults with braces are the worst.

No offense. But for reals, I am already dorky enough,thankyouverymuch. I don't need help from brackets and a big old chunk of my lunch. Can you just imagine me with a gargantuan piece of protein bar hanging out of the front of my mouth as I smile geektastically? 

I can. And it's terrible. I may die.

Maybe jaw pain isn't so bad, after all. Maybe it'll just go away one day and I won't need braces.

This may be a loooooong appointment.

Ah, bakey time.

It is my absolute favorite, other than canning time, which I will try for next weekend. I just ran out of weekend before I could get to the jam. It was nice, though, to get a bunch of my co-worker's beautiful apples processed and saved rather than just going to waste, which just kills me.

We had company on Saturday, so I did homemade hummus (which doesn't count as baking, but I wanted to throw it in anyway), a peach crisp and I finally got around to trying a recipe for brioche buns.

Not going to lie. They were glorious.

We actually had some leftovers so I got to have a big old vegetable sammich for lunch on one yesterday, and I nearly died from the happy. See how pretty?

And then yesterday, I baked two big batches of apple oat bars to freeze for later. My house has never smelled so good, plus I have a nice full freezer. I think next week, I'm going to do my jam making and try to make some more buns to freeze because holy cow.

Did I mention they were awesome? Because yes.

Call me Suzie Homemaker if you like. I know you're all just jealous of my buns.

I am so happy that it's Friday. So, so happy.

It's not like the weekend is completely off or anything, but this week was pretty hard, and I am just tired. Tired of everything. So it will be nice to do some normal houseworky stuff and to not have to dress up for a few days.

Also, beer.

Maybe it's just that deep down inside, I am incredibly lazy, and I just want to sit in a dark, quiet house and do nothing for like three days. That sounds awesome.

Alas, none of that in sight. But it is Friday and I made it through High Holy Days unscathed (and, really, those people at the temple are probably the nicest people I've ever worked for, so singing there is pretty awesome), and I have a shiny sparkly present to myself coming in the mail to match my shiny sparkly present from my lovely husband, so that's cool too.

I guess it's not so bad. As long as I make it through today. Also, beer.

It's a Yom Kippur miracle! I slept last night!

Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it feels pretty darn miraculous. I was not looking forward to doing Yom Kippur all sleep-deprived and whatnot, which is how I did the stuff for Rosh Hashanah.

And now I don't have to.

Also, it's pouring rain outside, which is pretty fantastic, too. Just an all-around awesome morning, and I'm so glad because not sleeping has been my friend for too many nights lately and if I had to pick a night to get sleep, it would've been this one.

Huzzah.

I believe what did the trick was the pink doughnut we picked up on the way home last night. That must've been it. It did have sprinkles, after all. It could've also been the exhaustion or the Benadryl, but I like to think it was the doughnut. Those things are magical.

At any rate, happy day today. Yessssssssssssss.

Oh my goodness this week has been crazy. It almost doesn't seem real that it's Thursday, so it's only been a couple of days rather than like a month.

Time is moving slowly for once. Weird.

At any rate, though, the slowness of time doesn't seem to have calmed anyone down. Rather, I think there is more catty nastiness happening this week than normal, which is saying something. I've come up with a solution to make everybody happy, because solving everyone else's business is exactly what I like to do. So here goes: Let's all have a nap.

That's right, nap time. But for adults.

The beauty part is that you don't actually have to sleep if you don't want to. You just have to go lie on your bed (or in the blanket fort under your desk), turn out the lights, and be quiet for a whole hour.

Just an hour. I think that's all it'll take.

Then, you can get up, go back to work, and stop being such a douche. Seriously. I think it'll work. I think everybody's just so wrapped up in all nine billion of their daily tasks to just calm it down and stop being crappy to everyone else. Seriously.

Oh, and maybe some graham crackers and milk would be a nice addition, as well, but I don't want to go overboard.

Well, apparently, not being able to sleep the night before a performance, no matter how small, is my new thing. Yay!

I mean, I was hoping my new thing would be a million dollars or losing twenty more pounds before Christmas, but hey...this is awesome too. Or not.

Ugh. 

I had singing yesterday and today, a gig that I've done for four years running, and I couldn't sleep night before last. So last night, after I get home from the gig exhausted and totally ready to hit my pillow, what happens?

Yep. I read for a few minutes, felt super sleepy, laid my book down and promptly could not sleep. Just, not at all. Wasn't dwelling on mistakes in my performance or any of that, just wasn't happening.

After about an hour of that, I moved my happy butt into the guest room so my husband could at least attempt to get some sleep.

Ugh again. Just ugh.

So now I'm contemplating going to the doctor for some Ambien or something like that, only the last time I tried it, a few years ago, I had a time or two where it didn't knock me out and I just stayed awake being cuckoo all night. That's no good. I have two more performances, and I would really love to sleep before them, as they are longer than the one last night, and being this tired does not, contrary to popular opinion, enhance what comes out of my mouth.

Unless you mean spit. I can still spit with the best of them.

So, ugh. Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.

Alright, enough complaining. Time to go sing some stuff for some people after attempting to put on mascara after approximately two and a half hours of sleep. Huzzah!

I can't believe it's still so hot. Is it this hot every September? Have I just forgotten? And where is this below-average temperature action we're supposed to be having? This heat is giving me massive eczema, and I am tired all of the time. Let's just stop these shenanigans, shall we?

I think weather is a lie.

I have sweaters in my closet. I would like to wear those sweaters. And jackets. I have those too. Summer is the worst.

Why don't we all just concentrate all of our energy on making fall happen? Seriously. Instead of all of the other things in the world, let's worry about my comfort level, because I am seriously about to lose my mind with this whole summer equals eczema thing.

Except that I have it in winter too, so there goes that argument.

(Not to be off topic here, but spell check just corrected the word "argument" and changed it to "gargument". That is not a word. Not at all.) 

Anyway, let's figure something out here. I am done. I want sweaters. Let's do this.

If this post is any indicator of how my mind is going today, I really feel sorry for any work that needs to get done today, because I am probably just going to fail at that too. Because hot.

I am super done with this week.

Actually, it's Friday, so I am, indeed, just about done with this week. In honor of that fact, I would like to share a list of my top five things right now. These are the things that get me through my crazy, with number one being the toppiest of the top. Right now, anyway.

5. Murder, She Wrote. That thing is always going to be up there. I loves me some J.B. Fletcher and I loves me some TV yelling time. That show provides both in ample quantities, plus I can do other activities while I'm watching, so I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something.

4. The Weather Channel app. I check it about fifty times a day, waiting for a weather report that includes temperatures below 70 degrees. Because heat is killing me, for reals.

3. Coffee. I didn't even start drinking it until my late 20s, but this stuff is a lifesaver. Trust me. I almost look forward to the morning, so I can have more and become human again. Almost. 

2. Knitting a new scarf to wear with my new jacket for winter. See #4. I am completely done with summer, and I am knitting a new scarf which is fun because I usually crochet, so I'm trying something different. Which I usually really really really hate.

1. Sleep. I love it. It's the best thing ever. I would like more of it, please. Thanks.

So, that's my stuff. You're welcome. Happy Friday.

Wow. I think right now we just can't play nicely together. Anyone, anywhere.

Therefore, I am going to set some ground rules. These are for me, too, because I am not terribly good at certain things, and I also need to work on them:

First, it's none of your business. Actually, very little is your business, except for things that you are actually involved in and not just observing from the outside. So mind your own, let other people mind their own and learn from their own set of consequences just like you're doing in your own life, and butt out. Offering kindness and support is obviously okay, but sometimes we all go too far just because we can't stand to let other people live the way they choose. Just do it.

Secondly, your job is your job. It's not your personal fun time. You have the right not to be enslaved, abused, or forced to work without pay. That's about it. You don't have the right to express yourself or not follow your employer's code of conduct. Seriously, if I said sweatpants and a tube top was the only outfit I felt comfortable in, would that mean that my employer would just have to suck it up and deal? I think not. By the same token, if I just decided one day to not perform significant portions of my job because I didn't want to, should my employer just let me not do my whole job and continue to pay me my whole salary? Again, no. A job is not a right, guys. Humane treatment is, but otherwise, go in there and work your shift, get the job done, and quit griping. There are tons of people out there wanting to take your place for less money. Express yourself on your own time. 

Finally, try to remain calm as we approach election time. The person you like may not get elected, and it's not the end of the world. All of the politicians are probably a little bit good and a little bit bad, because they're human beings, and none of them is going to perfectly match any one person's ideology. So calm down. If Pee Wee Herman ever runs for President, call me. Until then, I really don't care. Stop bashing the crap out of each other because you happen to have different opinions. Grow some manners. Geez.

That is all. Be nice.