This morning, I read an article about someone whose marriage broke up, leaving both her and her ex much happier and better off. While I loved the idea of the article, because even though I think sometimes that maybe people don't think about marriage long enough before taking the step, and that's the real problem for some people, there were a few points in it that eventually led to me not finishing the article because I got annoyed. Mostly because she's 28 and trying to sound like she has the wisdom of the ages.

Yes, I got annoyed by something. Shocking, isn't it?

At any rate, I feel that, as someone who has been with my person for 22 years, married for almost thirteen, I get to say something back. This is my rebuttal to some of her arguments.

First, she said that love should not be unconditional, giving the fact that she had gained weight and her partner had stopped being passionate about his life to back up her opinion. I STRONGLY disagree with that. I think that maybe that's her experience, but it sure as heck isn't mine, and I think that for anyone who has given birth to a child to be able to say that is a terrifying thing. And she has. I think that maybe for some people, that's how it is, but to make a blanket statement and tell people that there's no way they can expect that from their partner for life is a bunch of crap. I love my husband. For no better reason than because I choose to. Every day. Even when he's a poop. And he loves me back, even with my Christopher Walken hair and my intense star-phobia that forces him to lead me through dark rooms while my eyes are shut tight and I'm being a big old baby. (Plus, he's never once led me into a wall, which I'm sure would be hilarious, so bonus points for that) He CHOOSES to love me when I don't deserve it, and I CHOOSE to love him even when he doesn't. If that's not unconditional, I don't know what is, so there you go. It's possible, lady, and it's a good thing, since we're trusting each other to wipe butts and stuff when we get old. And have both gained/lost weight and totally lost our passion for riding horseback on the beach. Come on, lady. The person you get old with has to love you unconditionally, or they just aren't the right person with whom to grow old.

Then, she said that not being "head over heels in love" was also why their marriage ended. Um, hello? Are you kidding me? It is impossible to remain all ecstatic about a person all of the time. It would be entirely too exhausting, not to mention being impractical, to be twitterpated your whole life. Good grief. That was the paragraph that made me die the most. Sometimes I look at my husband and I feel like I need to just squish him because he is so cute. Other times I look at him and all I can think about is how he didn't get me the right brand of cereal at the store (except that would never happen because he knows quite well how I feel about my cereal). That's called life. Everything is super good when it's shiny and new, and then you have periods of super happy alternating with periods of dealing with life. Which is just the way it is. That's where the whole unconditional love part kicks in, so there you go.

Finally, she talked about focusing on your life so the love part can just work itself out. That is BANANAS. Love takes work. It's a decision you have to make every day (see my ginormous paragraph about it, above). If you don't choose to love someone, you won't. It's that simple. I choose to love Cinnamon Toast Crunch, therefore I do; conversely, I choose not to love raspberries because they taste like evil, rotting death. Therefore, they aren't allowed in my presence or I will puke. But that's a choice. Right now, I am choosing to try to like mushrooms because people who don't eat meat are supposed to eat mushrooms. I guess it's one of those things they talked about on a day I was home sick or something. Anyway, I am working on it. Still not my favorite, but I'm going to get this. That's my choice, and it's not easy, but I figure, beer wasn't on my list of favorites ten years ago, but it sure is now.

Because I kept on trying. 

I guess maybe the whole tone of her article was the annoying part. You can't be 28 and have all of the answers. I have eight years on her, and I sure don't have all of the answers, and my parents have twenty-odd years on me, and they seem to know more stuff but they still screw up. It's awfully irritating to have someone with whom I disagree write a whole blog post about it.

Wait a minute. 

Or maybe never mind that last part. Depending on how you feel this morning.