I have decided to stealthily take over the world. With what, one might rightfully ask?

With sass.

Now, keep in mind that I do not, in and of myself, possess a great quantity of sass. I do believe that I can make up for my lack of sass by siphoning small quantities of sass from others.

Trust me, they won't even miss it.

I just need to design and fabricate a sass-conduction device. Then, I can use that device, along with the small amount of sass with which I have been endowed, and I will have enough sass to put my plan into work.

I believe I know enough people with enough spare sass that this plan could work.

The only hang-up might be making a device that is sensitive enough to figure out the difference between, sass and, say, plasma. I don't want any bodily fluids. Because, gross. Sass has no fluid content. As a matter of fact, it has no gaseous content either. It is not really a solid, liquid, or gas. Hmmm. This might be a problem.

As one can plainly see, I haven't really thought this plan through. However, I am not a scientist. Maybe I need one of those, too.

Crap.

I'm already done with this plan. It's too hard. Maybe I should just forge ahead with the whole, "work until you're 70, then retire and watch The Price is Right all day" plan. Yeah. Probably just going with that one.

Oh, well. It seemed like it was going to be awesome, but most of my plans do, before they fail miserably. It was going to be like this:

from modernweb.com

Yep. Just like that. I was going to be bigger than Oprah.