I kind of hate Mother's Day.

I don't hate the part about buying my mom a present or making her a nice dinner or dessert or something like that, or doing something special for her in general. I think that part's great. She's had to put up with enough crap from me during my lifetime to deserve an extra day of happy goodness every year. Same goes for Father's Day. I'm down with celebrating my awesome parents.

However, and here's the part that gets tricky for me, I don't have children. I still get told to have a Happy Mother's Day everywhere I go, and/or I get referred to as, "Mom." At that point, it's either smile and nod, which is what I do, or explain that I am not anybody's Mom.

I realize people are trying to be nice, but it's a really complicated issue for us and, try as I might, I just can't ignore and let it go. 

I tried all day to hear it as a greeting, like, "Good morning" or, "Enjoy your day!" It didn't work. I tried thinking of other things so I wouldn't hear it. That didn't work, either.

It's something that bothers me because maybe my life isn't something that has neat little solutions that fit into neat little boxes. And I do so love neat little solutions.

It also makes me think of the torture it must be for all the women who truly want a baby and have tried everything and still don't have one. That must be just awful. It makes me think of how incredibly small my family is, which also makes me sad because my family is the bee's knees.

This isn't a subject that I talk about, because I really don't feel like my choices are anyone's business but my own, but it still drives me nuts every year. Not just for me, but for all the women I know who either aren't Moms and want to be, so much that it hurts, or the moms who aren't moms and don't want to be who also get vilified for their choice on many more days than just the one set aside for Mothers.

Therefore, as I said, it's kind of complicated and I kind of hate it. I love to celebrate my Mom, but my child-free status is something that complicates things and makes it a whole day of conversations in my head about all sorts of things that I don't want to think about. Not because I am uncomfortable with my choices, but because it's not a black and white issue. There is no right way or wrong way. There is only doing the best one can with what one has to work with, and for some people that means having ten kids, and for some people that means being one of those old ladies with a bunch of cat "babies."

Oh, Lordy.

At any rate, Happy Mother's Day to those of you out there with babies. I know it isn't always an easy decision and/or process. You're awesome, and I'm so happy that you're doing what you're doing. Those little people may be terrifying, but they are really important.

And Happy Day After Mother's Day to the rest of us. No kids? Wine is a perfectly acceptable breakfast drink, as long as you don't have have to drive to work (just so you know, if it's in a coffee mug, people will assume it's coffee).