Some mornings, I'm pretty sure that my coffee maker takes longer because it's trying to spite me. This is definitely one of those days.

I'm sure some of you will say, "Hey. Come on. I's a coffee maker. Machines aren't capable of plotting to ruin your Thursday."

We've all seen movies. You know I'm right.

How am I supposed to write a decent piece of crap for you all to enjoy if I haven't been properly caffeinated? Come to think of it, how am I supposed to do anything if I'm not properly caffeinated?

Yep, it's a conspiracy. I'd bet that the toaster oven is in on it, as well. I've seen the way it looks at me, all hateful and whatnot. And they both know how much I need that hot cup of caffeine to give me the oomph I need to actually wear pants to work.

Tick tock, Mr. Coffee. If you want to bring it, I can. I haven't had any coffee yet and I'm feeling kind of feisty.

Okay. The coffee's finished, so I guess I have to let my coffee maker live to pursue its dreams or whatever it is that coffee makers do when not making hot coffeeish deliciousness. 

At least, until tomorrow, when I will complain about the same thing.