DISCLAIMER: If snot makes you barf, don't read this. 

Colds are gross.

Well, at least, this cold is gross.

I get that we have viruses and I get that one just has to let a virus run its course, but seriously. I don't have time for this.

Also, the snot, guys. The snot.

It's everywhere. I can't sleep at night because I'm worried about choking on it, and during the day, I have to wash my hands every time I blow my nose, which is every five minutes, because there's just so much snot.

And other people may or may not be under the impression that I am carrying typhoid. It's hard to tell because of the speed at which they run away from me, screaming.

They just don't hear my cry of, "It's okay, guys. It's just a virus and there's no way I'm still contagious. It's been like 6 days, and I don't even have a fever...just tons of snot." 

For some reason, no one's buying it.

But it's true. I mean, I was probably most contagious last Thursday and Friday, when I had no symptoms at all but a slight sore throat, which I have a lot of the time anyway because of allergies. Maybe even Saturday and Sunday, when all I had was that raging sore throat and not much else so I really still thought it was allergies. But surely not anymore by Monday, when I knew it was something but the snot hadn't really come in yet.

It's in now, though.

Sometimes, I blow my nose and I think that the amount of snot is so much larger than I would've imagined my sinuses being able to contain, and I wonder if maybe there was a mistake and some of this vast quantity of snot was meant for someone else.

Because holy crap. It's like an ocean. An ocean of snot.