Last night, I went to a rehearsal at someone's house. It was mostly people I don't know, with one or two people who are casual acquaintances. 

So, yeah, it got real awkward, real fast.

For those of you who haven't seen me in situations like this, let me explain. If I don't know you, I don't talk. Well, I guess it's more accurate to say I can't talk. It's like my voice freezes up and I just can't make it do anything. Also, I have a food issue.

Yes. Along with all the others.

I don't like eating in front of other people. I eat in front of my family, but it's really hard for me to eat in front of other people. I don't know why. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with being a fat kid, but I'm also pretty sure people can tell I eat from the way I look, so there you go. My brain is a weird, mysterious place.

Anyway, about halfway through the evening, the host turns to me and says, "Are you always like this?"

That's when I knew I'd wowed him with my sparkling conversational skills.

So I make the usual jokes about not being a real soprano inside and all that. But seriously, holy crap, how did I decide to sing in front of people? Where did I go wrong? Why do I not live in a cave somewhere, only making occasional trips into town and never, ever speaking to another person (except myself, of course, because myself and I have some scintillating convos)?

Gee whiz.

There is no moral to this story. I just think it's funny that someone came out and asked the question we all wanted to ask but were afraid to. Am I always like that? You know, socially awkward, a mass of neuroses, and completely bonkers?

Yes. Yes, I am.