Wednesday, July 22, 2015

I am having a big old, "Thank you, thank you, thank you God!" moment right now, so I'm typing this while my mind is still in this place.

This beautiful, silent, clean space.

I realize that I have much to be thankful for, AND I realize (as do all of you who are, for one reason or another, childless) that there are moments where it sucks to be in this state, and so many times when we question ourselves and second guess every major life decision that led us to this Santa-free Christmastime and Grandkid-free future.

This is not one of those moments.

I just had two girls come to start piano lessons today, and it was a real eye-opener. The older one was awesome. Talkative and curious and eager to try and learn and just so super polite and adorable.

The younger one? Totally awesome, too, but in a different way and not so much for her Mom. Her Mom was dying a little inside as the thirty-minute long tantrum ensued, wondering if her offspring was going to break one of my delicate thingamajiggies or make me lose my mind. I believe the high-pitched screaming was even making the bird crazy, because he was doing his alert scream and seemed a wee bit panicky when I finally finished up and went to check on him.

No worries, Mom. I can totally deal with other people's screaming kids for thirty minutes. For the record, I grew up with the tantrum champ, and I have come to admire the spirit of all the kids out there who won't just suck it up and do as they're told. Those kids grow up to be completely ferocious.

However, as we decided that lessons just aren't a good fit right now, and Mom hurried the girls out the door, one totally excited about her new activity and the other just anxious to get as far away from me and the whole idea of sitting still as was humanly possible, I got the best gift of all.

I got to shut my door on the crazy and have 30 minutes of uninterrupted quiet time.

I adore these little people. I love my time with the small kids so much it just kills me sometimes. BUT.

Quiet.

I like that, too.

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