The time has come for trying on recital dresses. I realize that my recital is less than three weeks away; however, if I start the process too soon, I end up gaining like 50 pounds and then whatever dress I bought doesn't fit.

For reals. It's like my body's way of telling me to wait.

So, anyway, last weekend we were out and I went to Dillard's and tried on some things, but it seemed like they really had an overload in the "Golden Girls on a cruise" section. Not that I object to dressing like Dorothy Zbornak (who is, after all, my hero), but I had a different sort of look in mind for this affair. In addition, all of the dresses that were available in my size that have sleeves were periwinkle blue, and that is just unacceptable. There are very few colors that make me look as sickly as periwinkle blue does.

Unsuccessful there. So I came home and looked on amazon.com, because there had been some dresses that I liked but just didn't like the color or they didn't have my size or what have you. I found one that I had tried one in the store that was just a smidge small, so I ordered it up a size and not in periwinkle blue, and then this other one.

I have no reason for why I ordered the other one. I just thought I ought to have two, for comparison. I really, truly expected to return it.

They were scheduled to arrive yesterday, by 8 p.m. They were delivered at 7:42 p.m. Way to wait until I've taken my bra off and gotten comfortable, Fed-Ex. Plus, I was so excited it was making me snack. I also blame Fed-Ex for any weight I may have gained during my evening.

They arrived in this little teeny bag that was covered in road dirt, so, gross, but when I took them out of the bag, I was really happy to see that they were clean and also reasonably un-wrinkly, which is kind of shocking.

I tried on the cheaper one that I'd tried on in the store in periwinkle. The grey was much better, but it still wasn't a love connection. It has...SHOULDER PADS. Yes, that's right. No matter how far away I run from those bad boys, they keep coming back. It gets a little more frightening every time. Plus, who doesn't want to look like a linebacker for those special social occasions?

Then, I tried on the purple dress. I was a little scared because it doesn't look like my style at all and it has a big sparkly brooch-type thing on the front. Plus, it cost $60.00 more than the other dress, so there you go. Yikes.

Yep. It looks pretty great. I purposely am not allowing anyone to take a picture because it will make me more nervous and I won't ever want to go out in public again. I'm not great with pictures of me.

At any rate, the trek is over, and I have a dress. Relatively easily and cheaply, too. I mean, it's not cheap, but gowns always cost like $200, so I feel like any amount less than that is a good deal.

Plus, it makes me look like I have a little bit of booty, which is good, considering it's flatter than a pancake back there.

Next step: Not singing like turd. Too bad Dorothy can't help me with that one. But she can help with cupcakes...

from pinterest.com