Maybe it's the weather, or maybe I'm already starting menopause (please, please, please don't let it be that), but something weird is going on right now in my neck of the woods.

I'm really hot. Like, 90% of the time. Then, I get freezing cold for like five minutes. It's been this way for several weeks so I know I'm not just getting sick.

Also, I got four pimples this week. Four. That's usually a year's worth. Seriously.

Am I going to go through puberty again? At this rate, it wouldn't surprise me, considering my family tends toward really odd health things, and I'm pretty sure there's some hillbilly way back there in my genetic past with a second puberty happening just before 40 arrives.

I am almost positive that all of my genes come from the super weird parts of my families. Both sides. Like, God went through and hand-picked all the bizarre crap and threw it into my DNA and then chuckled a little bit, because you never know how that stuff's going to turn out.

At any rate, I keep going over to the thermostat, convinced it must be 90 degrees in here, and it's usually right around 68. So, yep, it's all me.

And every time I pass a mirror, I'm starting to flinch, because zits. I mean, my skin is so dry, I can put actual oil all over it and it's not even greasy for a second. I go through tubes and tubes of lotion, and never ever get zits until now.

So what's up?

I think I'll blame El Niño for this one. Jerk.

At any rate, if I'm going to go through puberty again, my husband had better prepare himself for some serious Kleenex usage in our house, because the crying during my previous puberty experience was ridiculous. I also gained a billion pounds, dyed my hair many different, horrible colors, and pierced my ears whenever I felt like it. In addition, we will be buying the entire Cure album collection, and I will be obsessively watching 90s grunge videos all night long.

At least I have Scooby Doo on DVD, so I'm covered for cartoon watching.

Oh, crap. Does this mean my feet are going to get even bigger? Geez.

If this is a second puberty, I just don't know. I may die. It was horrible enough the first time, but I don't think I have the strength for the white face powder and red lipstick again. Ugh. We may be in trouble.

Or I may be overreacting. We'll  see.