Okay, here goes. I'm going to just get this out, so I can move on and lead a more honest life from here on out, okay? Ready?

I don't care about the Olympics.

There. Said it publicly. That's no longer my dirty little secret. Actually, I know for a fact that there are others Ike me; we're just too scared to freely admit that we could not even care a tiny bit less about who won the something meter freestyle swimming medal. Badge? Nope, it's medal. Right?

Yeah, definitely medal.

Anyway, sports are not my thing, too much. I like tennis, baseball, and football, and I really want to learn to play golf, because any sport where you can drive around in a little cart, drinking beer, is okay by me. Oh, and I love to hike, but that's not really a sport, so there you go. And I rarely watch any of them except baseball, but only in person, and football, because I remember watching it with my dad when I was little and I totally have an emotional attachment to that.

But that's it. And I don't know teams or players, either, except that I like the Broncos because my cousin had a Broncos shirt when we were kids.

Just getting everything out there in the name of honesty.

Opening up the Facebook this morning, I realized that I had better come clean, since no other person on the planet feels this way. My feed is all about swimmers and medals. And how many we've won.

Except, how can you watch other people swim for nine hundred hours? Especially my mom, who loves the Olympics but never once wanted to go sit at the pool and watch me swim for hours. Seriously, mom. And I was doing tricks and stuff.

So, there you have it. I have watched exactly zero Olympics, and it's likely that will remain unchanged.

Sorry, America. I just don't sports.