I do like pie. I do.

It should be its own food group, as you can have all kinds with all kinds of ingredients, but it's usually not super healthy, and involves copious amounts of butter, which is delicious. 

So, yeah, usually pie is a good thing.

However, there is a pie I do not like. It's the pie chart on myfitnesspal. Guys. That thing is brutal.

I spend nineteen hundred hours a day trying to get the pie pieces the right size, and no matter what I do, I can't get the green pie piece to be huge. 

Stupid green pie piece.

I can get the blue one to stay around 1/3, I can get the red one to be there, too, but never at the same time. One of them always encroaches upon the green piece. 

Well, unless I eat nothing but lowfat cottage cheese and Greek yogurt. At this point, those two things are coming out my ears. I keep searching for a beer that is low carb and high protein, but so far that's not working out. Also, as much as I enjoy cheese, that tends to push the fat pie piece into the protein pie piece.

Jerks.

Cookies don't fit into the pie chart at all, either. Why? Why are you ruining my life, pie chart?

I think I need to switch that pie out for a different pie. Maybe a pot pie or even a quiche. Or one of those apple pies from McDonald's that burns the crap out of my tongue every time, even though I try to wait as long as is humanly possible. Those pies are so much more delightful and will make my life so much better.

Maybe that's what I'll do.

Except I know I won't.

Stupid pie chart.