Tuesday, October 6, 2015

So yesterday was just horrible. Just...yep, horrible.

I found out that my allergies are actually worse now than when I was originally tested (and at that time, my doc told me I was the most allergic adult he'd tested), and I have new ones, too. Including feathers, so that's great, considering I have a bird and I sleep on a feather pillow.

Well, not anymore I don't. Sleep on a feather pillow, I mean. The bird is staying put. He's mine.

Then, after all the loveliness of the allergy testing, I went and saw the jaw specialist. I've been needing to go for years, but I've put it off because...well...it's real, real expensive. No kidding. I am in the absolute wrong line of work, because holy cow.

Anyhoo, they confirmed that my jaw is, indeed, jacked up (to use the words of another doctor I saw about something related). Apparently, I am a big old deformed mess up in there. Plus, I'm allergic to or can't tolerate every medication they wanted to try to use to fix it; therefore, he actually recommended rectal ibuprofen. RECTAL. IBUPROFEN.

Yeah, can you see me taking my meds at work? Sorry, just one second, I need to take my ibuprofen. IN MY BUTT.

Thankfully, we're trying homeopathic anti-inflammatories first. Because gross. I'm just not a fan of putting pills in my hiney. I will also have a super sweet retainer to wear all the time, to ensure that the jackassery of my look is fully realized.

Maybe I need to grow a mullet and start wearing mom jeans all of the time, too. Acid washed ones. Just to really commit to the style.

I hate my new pillow.

I hate yesterday.

I need cake already, and it's only 6 am. Looks like today may be reeeeeaaaaal productive.

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