Most people feel the need to talk at length about feelings. I feel that talking about feelings is gross and creepy, unless you're with a therapist and paying to do so. In that case, have at it.

Otherwise, can't we all just make fart jokes until the situation goes away?

Every once in a while, probably due to some stupid nonsense, such as lack of sleep or estrogen, I feel feelings coming on. At those times, I've discovered it's best to just not. You know, go eat a brownie or something, but for heaven's sake, keep it in.

Keep. It. In.

If it's allowed to come out, there's just too much hiding in my shirt to be done, and what if I'm not wearing something stretchy? What are we going to do then, because you know there's no way I'm sticking around to deal?

That's not my strong suit. I'm more of a sarcastic comment behind your back sort of gal.

At any rate, let's all just do jokes about feelings today. I just can't.