Yes, I'm back again, with another guide for people who want to not annoy the crap out of me. What makes me qualified to tell other people what to do? Well, I'm 36, extremely passive-aggressive, related to a long line of women who make being passive-aggressive an art form, and I don't have the guts to ever say anything to people's faces. In addition, I'm not afraid to send annoyed thoughts out into the universe. Talk about credentials.

Anyway, here we go:

One of the ways a person can avoid annoying me is by not trying to sell me anything. I am not the kind of person who is wooed by sales pitches, and I know what kind of purchases I need to make. This also extends to b.s. Don't try to sell me that. I can usually see through it, and while I sometimes decide to just go with it in order to avoid conflict, I will still be annoyed with the person and then I will send little death-ray eye beams at him when his back is turned. Trust me, no one wants that.

Another way to avoid my annoyance is by not asking me stupid questions which could best be answered by a person taking two seconds and reading instructions. If I can fix the problem in less than a minute, everyone is going to feel my wrath. Trust me. I have weapons.

The best way to avoid the massive wall of rage and fury that is my annoyance is by not asking me to do everything twice. Seriously. Do I look as though I'm the sort of person who doesn't know how to do her job? No. I am not. I am a grown up lady, capable of many, many things, on level 15 of Criminal Case on Facebook and proud owner of not one, but TWO unicorn t-shirts. I get stuff done. And when I am asked to do something a second time, especially when the request is accompanied by a sarcastic or condescending tone? It is then ON. Like Donkey Kong.

I don't know exactly what that means, but I've been dying to say it.

Anyway, if one follows this list, my Hulk-like anger can be avoided. If not, then who knows? Maybe someone will go into someone else's office in the morning, create a strange smell and then shut the door and let the other person walk straight into it. You never can tell.

Yep. All of my revenge-for-annoyance plans include farts. I'm that kind of person.