Welp, tomorrow's the big recital! I haven't barfed yet, but the day's young. Give me time.

I am actually feeling very positive about it, mostly because my last rehearsal went really well, but also because I'm trying to work on my perfectionism and this is the best way to do it. Why?

BECAUSE IT WON'T BE PERFECT.

All caps. Every time.

But, really, it won't be. Music is never perfect. It's not supposed to be. That's the whole point of art. You strive to be better, but never perfect. My ceramics teacher has a Native American legend that she tells every semester about how your pot can never be perfect or Coyote won't be able to get out. Something like that. I am usually thinking about how annoyed I am by someone in the class at this point, so I can't really recall with perfect accuracy. Big shocker.

At any rate, it's not perfect because it's not supposed to be.

So, at least I can have realistic expectations: I will do the best that I can at that moment in time, and regardless of whether it's perfect or not, it will be the best I can do. I have practiced as much as is humanly possible, I have listened to recordings and rehearsed with my accompanist and bought a dress that is WAY outside of my comfort zone and I have even done all of my practicing for the last two weeks in my performance shoes.

I'm ready.

I am.

I swear.

Except that I want it to be perfect.

Oh, well. At least my stomach's behaving. For now.