It seems to me that three-day weekends are a menace to our society. They are a threat to our very existence.

This is because they make it way too hard to go back to work.

Therefore, we should either abolish the three-day weekend or we should have a half-day on the first day back, so we can ease our way into the workweek.

I vote for the second option.

This would make my life so much easier, and I think we would all benefit from that, as I tend to ruin everyone else's sunshiny day with my bad attitude.

Of course, I tend to do that most days, anyway. Even in the best of times. As I have previously mentioned, I am working on it, but it's hard not to have a bad attitude when all of the people around you are so, so very thin.

And they're all eating cake. All of the time. Only I don't actually see them eating cake because they're doing it behind my back and then mocking my cakeless state.

Turds.

Therefore: Three-day weekends + a half-day on Tuesdays. It's the only logical solution. Write your Congressman/woman. Write the President.

Write everyone, guys. Everyone. We need to eradicate this evil so our children don't have to suffer.

Also, I would like to vote that we get an entire month of vacation every other month or so. Just to feel refreshed. 

That's a different post for a different time, though. For now, I'm concentrating on the three-day weekend recovery plan. Stay calm, all of you out there…I'm working on it.