Why do people get so snippy about filling out a health form when they come into my office? Sometimes I feel like I'm telling them that, in addition to getting their teeth cleaned, we are also forcing them to have a colonoscopy and it will be done in full view of the parking lot so everyone who would like to can watch and see their guts.

For reals.

For instance, let's say there's a guy. Let's say he hasn't filled out a new form in, oh, five years. So I'll hand him the form, which will take up approximately two minutes of his time (if he's a slow writer). He will then look at me as though I have just murdered several kittens, sigh heavily, and ask if he has to fill it out. I will then say that we just need to know if he has any allergies or is on any medications, just in case the doctor needs to prescribe something. He will then make a comment along the lines of, "Is this something I'll have to fill out every time?"

Seriously. Your questions just took more time than just filling out the stupid form.

Oh, and you really do want your doctor to know if you're allergic to something. You think you know what they're putting in your mouth, but sometimes things have funny ingredients of which you may not be aware. Of course, you can omit stuff, but when you get a big old rash on your face, don't come crying to me. I will not have any sympathy for you.

Also, come on. I get enough crap in the course of a day. Knock it off, sit down, and fill out your form. Geeeeeeeez.