All I really want in life is for everything to be perfect. Is that too much?

I didn't think so.

Really, though, I don't think it's asking too much for people to try to tone their stupid down so I can go to work, do my job, and then leave without having to do someone else's job.

Does that ever happen? Nope.

In my spare time, as I'm developing all of these amazing inventions in my basement (not really, and I don't have a basement), I will work on a de-stupidizing ray. I don't have a science background, so I'm pretty much going to have rely on my magic skills, or, excuse me, skillz, and my love of all things that are not stupid to get me through the project.

If my husband will let me, I'll also need to borrow a can of WD-40, some duct tape, and a vise grip. You can do almost anything with those three tools.

Especially if you're willing to pull out all of the stops and use them with.......PAPIER-MÂCHÉ! (Yeah, I used the Frenchified spelling. Deal.)

I think I can do it. I think I can solve the problem.

If not, I will have a lovely set of hand puppets with which I can politely shame others into getting their shipoopies together.

That is all.