Why am I out of pants?

I mean, I know it's because I put off doing my laundry last week, and I was gone over the weekend, so now I really, really need to do laundry. The problem is that I don't have fabric softener, so I can't.

Why?!?

I hate doing laundry as much as the next person, but I usually get it done, just so I don't have to come to this state. The state of pantslessness combined with a serious lack of planning which makes for a no-Downy situation.

And I have so many clothes that hang to dry, so I can't just use dryer sheets.

This is my dilemma for today. 

I believe I will have to just suck it up and wear a dress. To the store. To buy the fabric softener. Even though it's like 2 degrees outside and that's just insane. Ugh. And then I'll have to do my laundry tonight after work, so I'll have to wear the dress all day. All. Day.

And that is a real punishment, because I will freeze to death in the Smith's parking lot. They will find me and say, "Don't feel too bad for her, guys. She put off doing her laundry wayyyyyy too long."

Did I mention they're sheriffs? I feel like they should be sheriffs. That whole scenario makes me feel better about this.

Because sheriffs. With badges.

I may have completely lost my mind. We'll see after I finish my coffee.